I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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