Me. At least after what I've been through.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
