How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
zippers are such a cool invention
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
