If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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