Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
