she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
false alarm, still single
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