Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
