Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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