she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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