Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
