some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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