But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
