yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
