Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize