how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
