Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
