so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
