it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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