Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
