i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize