He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize