The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to have your abortion
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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