"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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