The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
