it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
