I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
