i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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