she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
