Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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