Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
