I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
