All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
