you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize