you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
