And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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