So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
