On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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