So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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