home. puking in laundry basket.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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