I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
