do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
