Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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