It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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