Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
