in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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