My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
