I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
