Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
