we have pet lesbian snakes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
