I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
