***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
