I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
