i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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