I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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