cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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