she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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